Another great snippet from “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents”
I can’t stress how much everyone should read it. Even if you’re not healing from anything it’s a great insight in understanding a lot of behaviour that we come across frequently.
The language is also so easy to understand, reading it doesn’t feel tiring. 10/10
does anyone remember that one magical time when one of the non-replica Phantom productions put out a promotional pic from Masquerade where Christine happened to be standing in front of a chorus member whose gloves were the exact same color as her dress at just the right angle that it looked like she had arms jutting out of her boobs
my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully
okay so
be a goth. conservative christian parents don’t approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
know more about religion than the parents. they’ll try to introduce you to christianity because you don’t exactly look like a christian but your dad’s an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you’ll correct them on every little mistake they make
call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i’m talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like “my liver” or “my little cabbage” (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won’t know this they’ll just think you’re annoying :3)
to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
stare at her older brother’s ass for just a little too long
have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
let them quote bible verses to you. then ask “so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?”. it’s very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it’s even funnier when you’ve just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn’t make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it’s just an act)
go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won’t know about this so it’s an optional step
use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
just be yourself! that’s enough on its own to make them despise you tbh
yes
i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you
Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?
yes
I wonder why
Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you’ve never met the parents before. Absolute power move.
asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this
want an update?
ofc you do
but i’m too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in.
now multiply the awkwardness by 100
first of all i’m just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing
an example of what i would wear as my friend’s fake bf:
and as my boyfriend’s actual bf:
when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take
sooo yeah my bf told his parents he’s gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine… then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they’re in the matrix) and said
“and uh. why is…he here?”
i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son’s boyfriend
:3
i’ve never seen two people look more angry before but they weren’t gonna say anything because they had other family members over
the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i’m not very religious now, but that’s something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss
aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn’t stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don’t think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf’s parents
update two electric boogaloo ig
i have a girlfriend now🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”
how can any language be ‘ugly’ if it’s always also the language passed along from a mother to her child, the language of two lovers in the dark, the language of stories told by grandfathers, the language of vows and eulogies, the language of learning and singing and feeling and connection and culture… how is all of that not inherently beautiful
some people in the tags going “but have you ever heard X” this post is not for you and we really dont care <3
Obviously this is an adorable bit but I’m so struck by how different this is from so many little kid shows today like…….the muted colors. no background noise. no sound effects. you can literally hear Jim Henson breathing between his lines. Ernie is talking very slowly, meandering, letting the kids digest the info. it’s a full minute before you get the payoff of it all. man
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